In light of the marriage conference that we will host this fall, I have been digging into scripture for wisdom regarding choices we all must make in our lives, leading up to marriage, that will define the rest of our journeys. Whether we are single, married, widowed or divorced now, we face the same requirements before the Lord in this lifetime.
1. Choose Life
The Old Covenant explains “life” this way in Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (AMP):
I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you today, that I have set before you Life and Death, the blessing and the curse; therefore, you shall choose Life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding closely to Him; for He is your Life [your good life, your abundant life, your fulfillment] and the length of your days, that you may live in the land which the Lord promised (swore) to give to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
As descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, we are entitled to the land which the Lord promised to give them. This land is no longer a physical place on this earth, but the choice between Life and Death remains the same. We are given the opportunity to choose a life of blessings by God—“your good life, your abundant life, your fulfillment”—or a cursed life. The instructions remain the same; we choose Him (Life of blessings) “by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding closely to Him.”
The New Covenant tells us that the promised land, no longer a physical place, is now knowing Jesus Christ Himself and being in His presence forever:
For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world [that is, to initiate the final judgment of the world], but that the world might be saved through Him.
John 3:16-17 AMP
Jesus said to him, “I am the [only] Way [to God] and the [real] Truth and the [real] Life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.”
John 14:6 AMP
Jesus said, “I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.”
John 10:10 MSG
Knowing Jesus is the Way to the forever promised land—eternal life with the Father. Jesus saves us from an eternity without the Father. Our “more and better life” begins once the choice is made to follow Jesus as Savior, and then there is no end. And what does He save us from? Until we realize the depth of our own sin, we don’t realize our need for a savior. Galatians 6:8 (NLT) says, “Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.” Every one of us has done something wrong in the eyes of the Lord and deserves death, but Jesus came, died and was resurrected to defeat death! He gave up His own life and communion with God to pay the blood price for our sin. He swaps our death for His Real and Eternal Life.
2. Choose Surrender
Our second essential choice is to choose Jesus not only as our Savior, but also as our Lord—our Master, our Teacher, our full Authority. In recognizing Him as such, we relinquish our rights, desires, hopes & plans fully to God so He can fully satisfy us according to His purpose for our lives.
Psalm 37:4 (ESV) says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When we surrender, He begins to transform us and align our desires with His. He knows us best because He created us in our mother’s womb and knows every day before it happens. He is outside of time, seeing the end before the beginning, including the generations that come after us. We must choose to surrender not only for our own sakes, but also for the sake of those generations, just as the generations before us did.
Luke 9:23 (TPT) says, “Jesus said to all of his followers, ‘If you truly desire to be my disciple, you must disown your life completely, embrace my “cross” as your own, and surrender to my ways.’” Surrender means at every juncture choosing to do things His way, not our own, while realizing that His ways are usually opposite of our human nature.
Proverbs 22:4 (TPT) says, “Laying your life down in tender surrender before the Lord will bring life, prosperity, and honor as your reward.” We do not surrender begrudgingly but with honor, respect and a spirit of worship; our “tender surrender” is what brings the blessings of the Lord on our lives.
3. Choose to be Single or to be in Covenant
Anyone of adult age can marry. God’s instructions for marriage, however, are very strict! If we are not prepared to follow His guidelines as husband and wife, it is better for us to remain single.
In order to enter into a marriage covenant with another person, obedience to His Word is an act of godly submission. His primary instruction is found in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (AMP), which says:
Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
God’s initial stipulation includes the command to choose a mate committed to your own faith: is he or she also surrendered to Jesus? This is not a checkbox on a marriage certificate; you don’t “get by” because you label yourselves a “Christian” or “believer.” Are you both on the same committed spiritual path of following Christ? The covenant you make is not just with a spouse, but with God also; do you have a shared commitment to obedience? If not, you are a part of a mismatched alliance. You cannot on one hand choose obedience to the Lord but on the other choose to unite yourself with a spouse who refuses to obey.
Proverbs 18:22 (AMP) says, “He who finds a [true and faithful] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor and approval from the Lord.” Scripture’s underlying implications are that an equally bound man & woman covenanting to follow God’s ways regarding marriage will live in joy and experience pleasure within the approval and favor of the Lord.
If you are currently bound to an unbeliever, the Lord still requires obedience from you, whether or not your spouse agrees with you. The Scriptures apply to you as a believer, even if your spouse makes sinful choices. You are called to be a light in every darkness, to walk in both humility and honor, putting the needs of your spouse above your own. “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ” (Ephesians 5:2 NLT). In this way you may win over the soul of your spouse, by living as the Light in his or her life. Your faithfulness to God’s ways in the midst of a challenging marriage will be rewarded in the life to come.
The Art of Choosing True Life 