FEAR has kept me bound in the ugly chains of food addiction for so long. I believed that my hypoglycemia would cause me to fall apart if I didn’t eat as soon as I got hungry. I was so afraid that if I waited too long, I would get agitated quickly (“hangry”), that my dropping blood sugar would make me lose my ability to think clearly, as it has done many times in the past. I feared passing out, although I have never done that, but I have felt myself come close before. Most of all, I feared losing cognitive control if I didn’t eat immediately, or at least find something with sugar in it to keep it all at bay. I believed these lies and found comfort in my chains for more than 40 years.
BUT—No More.
My church started a 40-day fast together at sundown on Sunday, January 1st. I thought and prayed about what/if I should fast at that time, but I was very leery of fasting all food. After all, I’m hypoglycemic, right? I couldn’t possibly give up ALL food, not to mention at all the fact that food is my comfort, my lifeline when things don’t go my way, my happy place and refuge, the sustenance my soul needs to carry on…?
THERE—It’s a Disconnect.
As I considered fasting things like just sugar and soda, I realized the bigger issue, the disconnect between my faith and food in general. By believing the lies of the enemy, I have trusted in food alone to be my source of Life. But that sets up my idolatry of trusting in food and not God to sustain me. I believed the fears because I have experienced most of the effects of hypoglycemia or at least seen what can eventually happen because of it. I can be very logical about this, yet I know by faith, man does not live by bread alone.
SO—Fear Ends Here.
On that Sunday, January 1st, I had thought it through and decided that I wasn’t going to live in fear anymore. I was tired of bowing down to fear and to food, instead of giving all my devotion and worship to the God who created me, the God who can sustain me, the God who loves me and will do anything AND everything—including sacrificing His only Son Jesus—in order to draw me close to Him. I chose, as the sun was setting, to trust in this God, my good Father, to keep me from the gates of pain, destruction, or death, to believe it was possible to live on His Word rather than bread alone, and to embrace my hunger for food to be filled by the blessings and love of a trustworthy King.
AND—It Was Possible.
Every day, perhaps every moment, of that week, I felt physically hungry. So I let my hunger remind me to seek God first and let Him take care of the rest. I’ll admit, out of fear, I bought some glucose tablets to have on hand in case my blood sugar dropped, but it never did. Not once. I didn’t get dizzy. I didn’t feel like I was going to faint. My energy was barely depleted, and I don’t think I even had to confront “Hangry Me” for more than five minutes. God did what He said He’d do! He filled me up each and every day with His Word, His presence, His strength. And I never had to fear.
ALWAYS—He was Near.
Four days into the fast, I had a meeting with my writing coach. We prayed together and talked through my goals and plans. After one hour with her, receiving all of her encouraging words and fellowship, I felt physically and spiritually so full in my inner being, it was as if God sent me an angel to minister to me in the midst of my fast, to push me forward, that I might press on with courage and victory.
NEVER—have I felt So Free.
Food was no longer the centrality of my day. I didn’t stress to make sure I always had a snack on hand “just in case.” I never worried about what my next meal would be or when or how or with whom. The focus of feeding myself was fully removed, and I could focus on feeding my family instead. There was no meal planning, no diet plan to adhere to, no one to please with my choices. The stress that food has always caused me had fully evaporated!
It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free.
Living forever without food is not God’s plan, of course. But the freedom I felt when I wasn’t eating is! So this week, my friend Pam and I decided to do a different kind of fast together, a partial fast, so that we do not feel completely depleted nutritionally. We are choosing to trust God in a new way as we walk in our new freedom. Still giving up sugar and soda, we are eating some vegetables and some proteins. I’m still allowing myself to feel the hunger deep in my gut and letting it direct me to the Lord, my Provider, before eating food that will keep me healthy. That way, He gets the glory for being my True Sustenance, not the food. Then we will start a full fast again this coming Sunday.
My Eyes Are Open.
A whole new world of opportunity has opened up to me because of this experience! I love the way Pam said it: “Knowing I can fast with no food a week, two weeks, 21 days—now when I need a direct answer from God, and I’m serious about the prayers I’m praying, I know I can fast two or three days; He sees it and He answers!”
Even the Word says, “So we fasted and earnestly prayed that our God would take care of us, and He heard our prayer” (Ezra 8:23 NLT). Fasting is a beacon of light that grabs God’s attention and inclines His heart to hear and answer our prayers in due season. Now Pam and I are both free to seek God in this manner without fear of losing our physical and mental strength. He is more than mere sustenance. He is the Giver of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). So whenever I desire to fast, I will cling to this favorite verse:
“But those who wait for the LORD [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] will gain new strength and renew their power; they will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not grow tired.” Isaiah 40:31 AMP
The Art of Choosing True Life 