I want to begin by saying I am not looking for a new church home, but this was on my heart to share at this time because I know others who are.
If you are in the market for a new church—hopefully from a healthy place and not leaving bad blood behind at your previous one—then here are some very important things to be looking for as you move forward. As I have heard it said many times, when you’re seeking God’s guidance in this regard, it’s best to “major on the majors and minor on the minors”—meaning don’t focus on the nitty gritty details of theological differences, but rather keep these five big details in your center focus.
1. Preaching the Word of God
The most important criteria for choosing a church (even one to visit!) is making sure that they are preaching and teaching only the Word of God, the God-breathed Bible, at every turn. A healthy respect for and foundation in the Bible is essential for any church to stand the test of time. The Bible itself has stood the test of 2000 years and makes it clear that nothing should be added to it or removed. While it was penned by human hands, the Lord ordained every word as it is written to breathe life into ours and feed our souls as no other words can. The time has arrived where Truth is not always preached because listening ears want to be placated more than they want to be challenged. Every word shared from the pulpit or teaching stage must be tested against The Word alone.
2. Personal Worship
Not every church is going to provide a worship experience that is the right fit for you. On the other hand, there may be more kinds of worship than just one right fit. I grew up in the Episcopal Church though now I attend a non-denominational church; however, I am able to connect to the Lord in humble praise in both forms of liturgy. If you know the Spirit of God is present, you are free to be yourself and come to God just as you are, giving Him honor and praise in various ways. So let that be your focus and less on the format it takes. Agreement amongst your family members matters as well.
3. People that feel like family
When my husband and I moved from Peru back to Atlanta and were looking for a new church, we visited The Vine Community Church in Cumming, Georgia, because it was down the street from our new house. We walked in and were immediately greeted heartily by an elder and his wife, and moments later we saw our new neighbors walking around the corner too. When we walked into the sanctuary, we saw several people there who had visited Peru on mission trips while we had lived there! And when it came time to greet others during service, the family sitting next to us actually shared our last name! So to say we felt like family right away would be an understatement!
I have heard many people comment about feeling at home as soon as they entered a new church. Making someone feel welcome and wanted is an important first impression that sticks with new visitors. I will never remember what anyone said to us on that first church visit, but I will always remember the way I felt. If a church goes out of its way to welcome you in, then you will know a home like no other.
4. Potential for engagement/personal growth for every family member
We attended The Vine for 12 years because every member of our family had a way to connect and “do life” with others in a personal way. My husband and I belonged to the same Life Group (a small group of about 8 families) for many of those years and built strong friendships with other couples who were in the same age and stage. In fact, I was pregnant with our first child while 6 other women in the group were all pregnant with their third; we had our babies in succession, supporting one another with baby showers all along the way. Our children grew up together and learned about the Lord together in Sunday school. We shared so much life and closeness and still maintain some of those friendships today, although we live in another state.
Women’s and men’s ministry groups also served as a great resource and encouragement for us beyond the Life Group, where we were constantly meeting new people in the church and developing friendships. In very real respects, it’s essential that you feel connected with others in a way that goes beyond a Sunday morning service. Bible studies, youth groups, conferences, retreats, prayer meetings—there are so many possibilities for all ages to connect in a healthy, vibrant church. And if a church is missing something, consider that God might be calling you there to fill the gap!
5. Purpose-driven focus
The Vine church has had one purpose even to this day that they call “The 3 Loves”—Loving God, Loving Each Other, and Loving the Community. That mission drives everything they do. Their purpose is clear to everyone who enters their doors. Loving God starts with personal worship, along with surrender and obedience in your own life, both during and between church services. Loving Each Other is where you connect and do life with others in the church as I discussed above, and Loving the Community is going outside the church walls and serving others both locally and around the world in missions. That sums up what the purpose of all churches should contain. Be careful with churches that are too inward focused that they don’t engage with anyone outside their walls; that should be a red flag when seeking a new church home.
I understand that joining a new church can bring up anxiety and negative feelings if you have had bad experiences in previous churches. My husband and I attended two other churches together before moving to Peru and had a lot of “church hurt” from them that we had no control over. When we started attending The Vine, it took me a while before I let my guard down and could really trust the pastors and our new friends.
Give yourself grace to be where you are, process your emotions in your own time, and allow God to work healing in your heart. Don’t feel like you have to have it all together to attend a new church. Churches are meant for broken people to heal, but remember that you’re not the only broken one there. Be gentle with yourself and new relationships that may need tending; no matter what it looks like on the outside or on a Sunday morning, everyone is going through something.
The Art of Choosing True Life 