Let’s Make Some Room [Mth 1-Day 14-Post 5]

I sat in a dorm room, a freshman in college, having a deep spiritual conversation with a senior. There were many nights just like that one that year. “Bill” and I had a lot in common, so as a baby Christian, I felt I could ask him all my questions—and there certainly were a lot! He didn’t mind at all; he was easy going, very open about his relationship with the Lord, seemingly honest about his own shortcomings. So one night, I felt compelled to ask him something that had really gotten on my nerves after months of nights just like this one. I said, “Bill, I don’t understand how through all of our conversations, you can always just sit there the whole time playing computer games! Why do you do it?”

He laughed. His answer: “Why not?”

“Well, for one thing, there are so many other things you could be doing right now, like giving our conversation your FULL attention!”

It’s funny how I remember us talking about that and not about the “spiritual” aspects of a single night that entire year. I used to make fun of people who would waste so much time apparently doing nothing! But what’s worse is, I then became one.

The following year my parents divorced. I’m guessing the downward spiral may have started then. That was the worst heartbreak I think I had experienced in my short 19 years. I stopped wanting to give anything my “full” attention, including God. My baby Christian enthusiasm had worn off, maybe not entirely, but just enough to be overtaken by this heartache I now strove to avoid in my mind. And avoidance, as I now see it, is an addiction all unto itself.

We make plenty of excuses, don’t we? Bill just said, “Why not?” when I asked him why he played computer games. Sure, it seems like a way to relax, a way to let go and enjoy yourself. For some, it might just be the case. But when you start talking about playing games for hours on end, day in and day out, something deeper is going on there. Because playing games isn’t just about relaxing anymore. It’s about escaping from something else.

Well, for me, I can tell you that it wasn’t just computer games that started eating up my time. TV and movies made escaping much more effortless. What more need I do but sit and stare for hours and hours on end, day in and day out, just like Bill did, minus the skill and coordination involved! I could laugh or cry, cheer or boo, giggle or gossip about completely fake characters and situations, just long enough to get my mind off my own baggage or bemoaning.

And what a collection of movies we have now! Cases upon cases of action, romance, comedy, and drama take up a great deal of space in our home today. As if that weren’t enough, my list of TV followings grew and grew until I couldn’t remember them all! Thankfully, you know, some of those were cancelled. Oh, such an easy out. I didn’t have to decide to stop watching those shows myself. But when the DVR came around, and I became a stay-at-home mother craving some connection to the outside adult world, I did allow the list to grow a bit lengthy.

So before this “70 in 7” Project began, I can tell you that I spent about four to five hours per day either watching TV or playing games on my phone or computer. And yes, to my sad regret, some of that time was while my girls played right in front of me, even begging for my attention. Eden would run up to me saying, “Put down your phone!” or “Put down your computer, Mommy!” And I would say, “Just a minute, honey.” Oh, how deeply saddened I am to know that I hurt her so many times because Words with Friends was just so much fun!

Okay, readers, you value my honesty, so that’s what I’m giving you. How often do we say, “Just a minute, Lord, I’m busy”? Or “I’ll pray after I watch this TV show” or “I’ll read my Bible after I finish playing this game”? How many ways do we deliberately deaden ourselves to what the Lord is doing right in front of us because we are afraid of the result?

Proverbs 5:23 says, “For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly.” And Proverbs 12:1 says, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.”

Ouch. Okay, Lord, okay. I have lacked any true discipline in my life because I chose mental clutter over closeness to You, Father. But I know that You only discipline those whom You love. And while this discipline doesn’t seem pleasant right now, I know it will produce “a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12: 6, 11)

When I sought Father’s instructions for the “70 in 7” Project, one included limiting my TV watching to one night a week and completely eliminating computer and phone games. Well, with two small children who just love “Daniel Tiger” and “Cinderella” and a husband who also loves TV, giving it all up has not exactly been easy. The compromise is that I would let the girls watch about an hour of their favorites each day and try to only watch TV with hubby one night each week.

During that first week, I’ll admit, it stretched into two nights, but this week, something in me changed. I remembered that now 14-year-old conversation with Bill. And all those hours I used to waste each day have suddenly been filled—with actually important things! Things that matter—quality time with my children, quality time with my husband, time to write, time to read, time to study and memorize the Word of God, time to hear His voice saying, “This is the way; walk in it!” (Isaiah 30:21)

This morning in his Sunday sermon titled, “A Father’s Heart,” our pastor, Jon, spoke of a man he’d heard of that was a kind, compassionate father to his children. When this man’s daughter once tried out for a sports team and didn’t make the cut, the father found her crying in her closet. He didn’t give her a pep talk. He didn’t chastise her for failing or command her to get up and try again. He didn’t walk away and let her cry alone. Instead, he sat down next to her in the closet and cried too.

Wow. How powerful, a Daddy’s heart for his daughter. The thing is, there had to be enough room in that closet for him to sit down next to her, didn’t there? If her closet looked like some of mine, cluttered and avalanching when opened, he wouldn’t have been able to do that. Forced to remain at a distance, he would have had to try to comfort her another way. She would have missed out on that opportunity to be embraced by unconditional love and warmth, the kind that sooths and heals and restores hope.

But she didn’t miss out on it. Because there was room for him.

Father, thank You for wanting to be so near to me that You gave me the choice, the gentle opportunity, to make room for You. And as I have been faithful to obey, You have been faithful to draw near and begin to transform my life before my eyes. I love You, too, Daddy. I love You, too.