Belief Statement #21:
I am a difference-maker, a world-changer.
I am whole, content and fully equipped
for every good work through Christ who strengthens me.
I lack no good thing.
When I was younger and in school, part of me had something to prove. Maybe to my parents, maybe to my peers, definitely to myself. I had to prove I was able to achieve whatever I set my mind to, able to conquer tasks assigned to me, able to climb above my circumstances and hit the mark. I think they call it perfectionism. Then one day I reached a point where good enough was good enough. I didnโt have to be the best at anything, just good enough to get by. According to my own standards, anyway.
Unfortunately, Iโll never forget a time when those two different mindsets collided and left a permanent mark. During my junior year in college, I was having a rough semester overall and wasnโt particularly interested in the literature course I was taking at the time. By the end of the semester, I had failed to write a paper for that class, not even an attempt at it. I received my first and only โzeroโ ever in my entire academic career. Because of that I received my only collegiate โC.โ And because of that, I missed โmagna cum laudeโ by two hundredths of a point.
The perfectionist in me has never let me live it down. The โgood enoughโ part of me reminds me that I still graduated with honors. I remember my pastor at the time telling me, โWhen they announced your name at graduation and said, โcum laude,โ I was surprised. You really had to overcome so much during your college years! I was really proud of you.โ
Despite othersโ encouragement, somewhere along the line, I had stopped believing in myself. I had stopped believing that I was fully equipped to overcome it all. Thatโs the real reason I didnโt pursue a double major in English and math. The real reason I let that one paper slide by without even trying. I didnโt think I had it in me. I let the Enemy have his way. It only took one seed of doubt to keep me from trying to hit that mark.
Itโs been a long time since those decisions were made. Fifteen years later Iโve learned the Truth about what God has placed within me, even if I need to be reminded of it time and again. That doesnโt make it any less true or make me any less equipped for any and every good work that the Lord has set before me or for which He has planted a seed in my heart. The Truth is that the Holy Spirit lives within me and continues to fuel my every word and deed according to His perfect plans. This year God has reignited that belief in myself because of my belief in Himโan all-powerful God who loves, cares and roots for me to hit that mark.
โGod has put seeds of greatness on the inside of you. Break out of your box! If you can accomplish it on your own, then itโs not a Godโsized dream.โ โ Joel Osteen
โGood enoughโ was a โme-sizedโ dream. And itโs no longer good enough. With my โGod-sizedโ dream firmly established in my heart, I can make a real difference, maybe even change the world.
