Do you have a dream? From the time we’re children, most of us have dreams of the future—what we will do as a profession, who we will marry, how many children we’ll have of our own—things of that nature. Then, there are those “other” dreams, the ones we may have talked about as young adults, the ambitious ones that sound like we’re ready to take on the world. As the years start passing by, we talk about those dreams less and less until one day, we have let them doze off into La La Land. And we leave them there.
I’ve had a few of those dreams, the ones I don’t talk about anymore, the ones that may just sleep…indefinitely. Now, as if out of the blue, I’m about to turn forty (and I spell out the word instead of typing the number just to keep it at bay a little while longer). I’m starting to wonder about those dreams again; are they ready to awaken? Or am I too afraid to startle their slumber for fear of failure?
One of the dreams I put to bed was a Master of Divinity degree from a theological school in Boston. I was accepted into the program and took a few courses but was unable to continue due to finances. As a busy mom of three young children, I don’t think now is its time to be woken. But there is another dream lurking in nightly shadows that has been whispering to me in my dreams. It may not come as a surprise to many, given my blogging over the last five years. But yes, I want to write a book.
I am enormously proud of my aunt, Lisa Romeo, who has just published her first book as of May 1st, entitled Starting with Goodbye, about her relationship with my grandfather after his death. Observing part of her journey with publishing over the years, I have often been inspired not to give up on this little dream of mine and that perhaps, after all, this blog might prove useful along those lines.
Today I came across Habakkuk 2:3, which says:
For the vision is yet for the appointed [future] time
It hurries toward the goal [of fulfillment]; it will not fail.
Even though it delays, wait [patiently] for it,
Because it will certainly come; it will not delay. (AMP)
There was a specific vision, one I’ve written about before, of a book to come forth at a future time, but there certainly hasn’t been any hurry on my part. But Time has been a category of captivation as of late, as I start to see mid-life approach at an ever-increasing rate. The Word says we are not promised tomorrow; today is all we have been given. I have waited patiently for this vision, but I believe God has shown me the space this book is to occupy in my present to give life to the vision in the future.
In the last few weeks, I wrote about my idolatry of Time—where my time was “My Time”—an idea that needs to tumble until Christ becomes the Keeper instead. For at least a year or two, I have become dependent on afternoon naps, coveting “my” two hours of hopefully uninterrupted rest while my son napped as well. In many ways I felt that I couldn’t make it through a whole day without that down time. But for the last few months, I’ve felt a certain energy return to my body (no doubt corresponding to the weight I have been losing), giving me enough stamina to make use of that nap time to accomplish various tasks instead of sleeping. Blogging being one of those tasks, I have used my time to awaken my creativity again. And now I find an increasing urge to really unleash that side of myself that has laid dormant for so long. I still walk with trepidation, calling quietly to arouse my creativity from its sleep with the hope that my timing is not off. Alas, only Time will tell what happens between here and…40… Twenty weeks to go!
The Art of Choosing True Life 
Holly, I know in my bones that you will write that book! It’s in your (our) blood.